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The Left and the Right’s Fake Fight

Imagine yourself on a Saturday afternoon.  You worked hard all week.  This morning you got caught up on your household chores and your errands, and you sit down before the fireplace with a good book.

Suddenly, you notice two men fighting in your front yard.  They are pushing and shoving and punching each other as they stumble up your driveway.   Shouting and cursing each other, they crash through your front door and continue the mayhem right into your living room.

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With all their yelling and punching and biting, they have attracted a crowd of neighbors who follow them inside.  The neighbors have actually chosen sides in the hooligans’ fight and some are cheering for the one whose name apparently is “Lefty” while others vociferously call for “Righty” to bash “Lefty” soundly.

As the tumult and shouting continue, “Lefty” starts taking some of your personal items from the mantelpiece and the coffee table.  Some of them he tosses to the crowd and some of them he is placing in his pockets.

Instinctively, you find yourself siding with “Righty” who, although he is trespassing on your property, wrecking your home and violating your peaceful afternoon, is at least not overtly stealing your stuff.  Incredibly, you find yourself sympathizing with him and you hear your own voice rising above the whole wacky scene as you chant, “Righty…Righty…Righty…”

Suddenly, from another part of the house, you hear a thud of a door slamming and you realize with horror that while you were distracted by the fake fight in the front room, someone has made it out the back door with the contents of your safe, everything that you have ever worked for.  It’s all gone.

You start to realize that a guy named “Big Bro” from the Mob known as “NWO” has robbed you blind while you were watching his two stooges put on a show for you and your neighbors in the parlor.

Slowly, you admit to yourself…, “Big Bro” has, of course, “three stooges” – “Lefty and Righty and…me.”

Michael Peroutka

Michael Peroutka is a Constitutional commentator, former nationally syndicated talk-show host, and founder of the Institute on the Constitution. Combined with his constitutional forefather style of writing, what makes him unique from every other columnist is that he includes a VIDEO for every commentary he posts, blending the new age of video with the traditional written commentary.

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